Holidays are er…different…when you’re a single mom.
I’ll spare you the agitating details of what can make ANY holiday shitty for the single mama.
And if you’re a single mom dating, the logistics of celebrating on a school night are as easy as a #pinterestfail of your kid’s DIY hot-glue valentines.
(Who am I kidding, we buy the pre-made ones from Target.)
Thus, “Single’s Awareness Day” becomes another one of those awkward days—like New Year’s Eve and Father’s Day—that single moms have to endure.
Some of you may ugly cry in self-pity and gorge on leftover “FUN SIZE!” chocolates from the school party. If that’s you, at least do it shamelessly and with gusto.
OR…
You can redefine V-day in a way that is HEROIC and EMPOWERING for you and about you.
Choose how to kill it this Valentine’s Day as a Single Mother
The beauty of being a single mother is that we learn to give ourselves what others cannot.
Whether that means gifting yourself luscious red roses (totally acceptable btw), or those cute AF earrings you saw on clearance the other day, you have learned to give yourself what you used to expect from others.
The UnbreakAble Mom takes responsibility for giving ourselves and creating what we want.
Read this next line very very carefully.
The greatest gift you should give yourself is LOVE.
In fact, the greatest love you have should be for YOURSELF.
YES. I said it!
“Whaaaat, you mean I’m supposed to love myself more than my children??”
Correct.
How you can love yourself this February 14th
(and the remaining 364 days of the year)
- ♥Self-love begins as a mindset. It’s a decision.
Decide that you accept yourself and love yourself exactly as you are.
Decide to have the courage to embrace your doubts, fears, flaws and love yourself anyway.
Awesome! The easy part is over.
It’s great and all that you made the decision.
I make decisions all the time that I’m going to work out at 5:00am—until that damn burnt orange “SNOOZE” button tempts me.
That decision is about as useful as a $50 wipes warmer.
What you need is ACTION.
You need Motion to create Emotion.
2.♥ This is where positive affirmations really shine.
Never tried affirmations before?
Download my beginner’s guide.
Here is one you can try right now: Look yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you.”
It’s weird, I know. A lot of feelings may come up.
Feelings of not being a good enough mom, not smart enough, attractive enough, successful enough, etc…
Stop it. Cut the negative self talk.
Talk to yourself like you would talk to somebody that you love. Commit to finding one thing you love about yourself every day.
Because what you focus on grows.
We used to think our beliefs shape our behavior. Now we know it is, in fact, our behaviors that shape our beliefs.
The more you think, write, say, or do something the more you believe it.
Learn how with the beginner’s affirmations guide
3. ♥Self-love is carried out through self-care
Again, motion creates emotion.
Anything that you do that is positive for your well-being is self-care—Something that actively nourishes your spirit.
This may be journaling, mindfulness activities or meditation, playing with your kids, or exercising.
(You can find my top Self care tips in the Unbreakable Formula)
Mamas, this is SO IMPORTANT!!
Only once your cup is full can you give and love from the overflow.
You give unconditional love for others (*ahem* children) through unconditional love for yourself.
Whether V day has been uplifting or upsetting, this year you will triumph with a different approach.
You’re a single mom— a warrior.
Being alone is one of the greatest gifts you can have.
You learn to provide yourself with everything you need.
if you need a support system, then create it.
if you need love, then claim it.
Romantic partners only augment what you already give yourself.
(However, if you do happen to have a hot date, then by ALL means enjoy the fuck out of it, have thrilling sex, then post about it in our exclusive facebook group)
You deserve to love yourself unconditionally.
Fill your cup first with unconditional love and love from your overflow.
Because you are the most loving, unbreakable, and deserving mom I know.
———-
If you like my take on Vday, share this with another mama who needs more self-love in her life 🙂
Need some tough love for self love? Here is the perfect recipe in two minutes: